Bulkhead, It's Not Easy! Keep It Up!
by atlaswhite
Summary: A collection of four shorts about the widely overlooked Autobot Bulkhead, as he reflects about his position on the team, his friendship with Bumblebee, and his feelings for the girl of his dreams. One-sided Bulkhead/Sari.


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_Bulkhead – It's Not Easy! Be the Bigger Man!_

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When you're my size, certain things tend to be a little harder. For instance, runnin' real fast, or playing hide-and-go-seek, or picking up small objects without breakin' 'em. Bein' big isn't all bad, but sometimes, the little things can really be a pain.

And that's not all, either; people always want me to break stuff! I mean, I have a sensitive side too, y'know? I'm not just a big ol' wrecking ball. Even though breakin' stuff is really fun, I just want people to see that there's more to me than that.

That's somethin' easier said than done. Even when I do stuff like paint or try to play music, I still end up lookin' like nothing but a big dumb klutz. So much for the arts makin' ya look smarter.

It's times like those that I get jealous of Prowl and Bumblebee. I mean, those two are so stylish, they could roll in the mud and cluck like the drones back on the farm, and still manage to look good doin' it. Sometimes, it just doesn't seem fair. How can they be so… so cool? Without even tryin'?

Well, maybe I can't ever be cool or fast or graceful like them, or be all artistic like I wanna be, but there's still a bunch of stuff only I can do. Like, there are things too heavy for the other guys to life. And sometimes, Bumblebee and Sari need some help reachin' stuff, or something big to hide behind. And sometimes, stuff really does need breakin'. Not to mention, I couldn't-a beat up Soundwave if I wasn't real big.

Certain things tend to be a little harder when you're my size, but certain _other_ things are only possible when you're big like me. So sometimes I guess it's kinda nice to be the big guy.

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* * *

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_Bulkhead – It's Not Easy! You Exercise Caution, So Does That Make It A Muscle?  
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My biggest problem with bein' big is really small. I mean, size-wise and stuff. Well, uh, maybe that's wrong… I mean, it's a big problem but it's a small thing. Two small things. But that's why it's big… And I'm big, so… But… Aw, forget it.

It's like this: Like I said, I can't mess with small stuff without breakin' it. So, I'm always kinda afraid I might end up breakin' somebody little. Y'know, like Sari or Bumblebee. Which is really bad, because we're always hangin' out and playin' and trainin' together, and sometimes I think that one of these days I'm gonna end up squashin' one of 'em without meanin' to. And that's a really scary thought.

Bumblebee's my hero, and he's also my best friend. And Sari… Well, she's really _special_. If I accidentally hurt either of 'em, that'd be the worst thing ever.

I try to be careful, but I'm always such a klutz. What if I messed up and smashed one of 'em? I dunno what I'd do…

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_Bulkhead – It's Not Easy! Picking Flowers is a Difficult Task!  
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"Bulkhead! Hey, 'sup, big guy?"

I turn around at the sound of somebody calling my name. Yup, it's Bumblebee, just like I thought. Nobody else goes around callin' me 'big guy'.

"Hey there, little buddy," I answer, trying to keep the surprise outta my voice. He's caught me at kind of a bad time… I was just outside behind the factory tryin' to pick flowers.

"Somethin' the matter?" Bumblebee asks, tilting his head to the side. Before I can answer, he points and asks, "And what're those things on your servos?"

I look at my servos, feelin' pretty embarrassed. 'Those things' are… Well, they _were_ flowers. But when I tried to pick 'em up, I just ended up crushin' 'em. That's how I ended up thinkin' about… Well, y'know.

"It's, uh, nothing." I say, trying to hide my servos behind my back.

But, of course, Bumblebee is quick. He notices, and he darts behind me like a rabbit to get a better look before I can stop him. I try to brush him away, but by now it's too late.

"These flower petals?" He asks, sounding kinda confused, "What's 'iss all about?"

"Yeah," I sigh, "I was, uh, just pickin' some for… Um…" I can't think of an excuse.

"For what?" Bumblebee asks. He gets that grin of his, the one that means he's up to no good. "Or, should I say for _whom?_ You got yer eye on somebody special, big guy?" He asks, in a voice he saves for scheming.

I frown at him, but I can feel my faceplate heatin' up anyway.

"No, it's nobody, go away, Bumblebee," I say hastily.

Bumblebee climbs up my arm to my shoulder and grins that same grin at me. "Who is it?" He insists, "Come on, you can trust me. Tell me!"

There's no way I can get away from him now that he's gotten all curious. Even if I don't tell him right now, he'll just keep chasin' me around until I give in. So, I guess I might as well just get it over with as quick as possible.

"Um…" I mumble the name.

"What's 'at?" He asks. "Couldn't hear ya! Speak up."

"I said…" I try to keep my audio as low as possible, but he still manages to hear me. And, of course, Bumblebee has to yell it at audio-receptor-blowing volume.

"_Sari!?_" He shouts, "Seriously?"

He breaks out into a laughin' fit, and I glare at him. I feel like smackin' him, but I don't do it. It'd be way too easy to hurt him that way.

"Sorry, big guy, sorry." Bumblebee says, wiping at his optics. "No really, that's cool, man, it is!"

He takes another look down at my servos, and says, "But seriously, you ain't gonna get nowhere like that. Do you need some help?"

My faceplate's still burnin' hot, and I just know I've gotta be red by now, but I try to keep my cool. I know he doesn't mean anything by it, it's just that…

"No," I say, "I've got it all under control."

"Ah, do you now," Bumblebee says. "That must be why your servos are covered in dismembered flowers."

My faceplate gets even hotter, and I start getting mad. Not much can push me that way, but this is somethin' I'm really sensitive about, and Bumblebee's really actin' like a jerk right now.

"Yes, I got it all under control, and I don't need your comments!" I say.

"I still say ya need help," Bumblebee says, "Since you can't pick the flowers."

He jumps down off my shoulder and runs away. I sigh, watching him take off, and wonder why he did all that. Did he just come to make fun of me? That's not nice, and it really doesn't seem like Bumblebee. Maybe he's just in a bad mood or somethin', I wonder why he'd ever act like that…

Bumblebee comes runnin' back towards me, a bunch of pretty wild flowers in hand. He stops in front of me with a more honest grin on his face now, and takes out a string that he uses to tie the flowers to one of my digits.

"Here ya go, big guy," He says, and gives a wink. "Good luck!"

He turns around and runs off, cheerful as ever. I feel really embarrassed now, and not because Bumblebee found out how I feel 'bout Sari.

I shoulda known better than to doubt my best buddy.

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* * *

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_Bulkhead – It's Not Easy! Don't Give Up: Option is Not a Failure!  
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I take the flowers inside and find Sari sittin' by herself on the couch, watchin' TV. I start to take a step toward her, but then I stop. This is a little harder than I thought.

I stop and think about it. Well, it's not like she's gonna bite me or somethin'. I mean, she probably won't, and even if she did, it wouldn't hurt or nothin'. It's just that it's kinda weird, me bein' a real big Autobot and her bein' a little human an' all. I dunno if she'd really go for that whole thing.

I sigh. Well, I got this far, right? Yeah, I just gotta go right up to her and tell her how I feel about her! I gotta go tell her that I think she's the nicest and prettiest human ever.

I brace myself and go up to her, feelin' brave. Well, brave-_ish_, anyway.

She looks up at me and smiles. "Oh, hey, Bulkhead."

I get scared. All that bravery heads for the hills and I mean _fast_. Leavin' me to stand there lookin' like a big dumb idiot.

"Uhh," I reply. Yeah, real smooth.

"Bulkhead, is something the matter?" She asks. Second time today I been asked that. I hope it doesn't catch on, become a trend or somethin'.

"Uhh," I answer. Sure, I had a pretty good answer all planned out, but all that came out was another big dumb 'uhh'. Now I look _really_ smooth.

"Bulkhead?" She asks, waving her hand at my faceplate.

"Uhh," A third time. This is really startin' to stink.

"Hey, who're those flowers for?" Sari asks, pointin' at 'em.

I hold them out in front of her without a word and shake 'em, hopin' she'll get the picture. I kinda wish this had gone a little better.

"For me?" She asks, lookin' surprised and pointin' at herself.

Instead of sayin' anything I just nod dumbly. She takes the flowers and grins, lookin' pretty happy with 'em.

"Aw, how sweet!" She says, "Thanks, Bulkhead. I'm gonna go get some water to put 'em in."

And just like that, she runs out of the room. I keep standing there, watchin' her go, faceplate heatin' up again. Even the way she runs is cute.

"Oh well, big guy," Bumblebee says, coming up behind me. "You'll get her, next time."

I hope he's right. Maybe I should try practicin' in the mirror or somethin'. People say that works, but I don't think so. I mean, the mirror doesn't make me nervous. The mirror isn't _cute_.


End file.
